The Space Between Us Feels Safer

I was talking to someone the other day, and they said something that completely hit me: “You’re so good at loving people from afar, but the moment they get close…” She didn’t even finish the sentence, and yet, I already knew exactly where it was going.


It’s so easy to love someone when they’re distant  when I can hold onto the idea of who they are without truly having to face the reality of them. When they’re far away, I can imagine them however I want. I can cling to the ideal, to the fantasy of what could be, and I can easily justify it because there’s no real confrontation. I long for the connection, the validation, the feeling of being valued. In those moments, the distance makes me value my likeness in them more.


But the moment they get close? The moment they’re within arm’s reach? That’s when it all starts to feel like too much. Suddenly, the walls I’ve spent years building around myself feel like they might come crumbling down. And I’m not sure if I’m ready to let anyone inside that space. I don’t know if I’m ready to share my vulnerability, my fears, the part of me I’ve kept safely tucked away for so long.


It’s strange. When we’re apart, everything feels light. There’s no pressure. The anxiety I feel when I think about opening up doesn’t exist. But when they’re near, when we’re face-to-face, those feelings fade away. I see the flaws  mine and theirs  and it becomes real. Suddenly, I feel like I have to bring down walls that have taken so long to build, just to make space for the closeness. And I wonder if that’s even something I’m ready for. It makes me question: Is it me? Is it the walls I’ve built? Or is this something deeper, something psychological?


When she said that, it clicked. It wasn’t just a passing thought it was a truth I had been avoiding for so long. And I think it’s time I explore it. I’m not sure if I have all the answers yet, but maybe talking about it will help. Maybe putting these feelings into words will make me feel a little lighter, a little more understood.


But here’s the thing: It’s hard. It’s hard to love up close. To share space, to show your flaws, to open yourself to the possibility of disappointment, or worse  rejection. But it’s also the only way to truly know someone, to experience love in its most vulnerable form. And yet, I still find myself wondering can I ever truly be ready to share that space? To let someone in, without pulling away, without building up walls?


I guess the only thing I can ask now is: How do you love — from afar, or up close?

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